"Watch your thoughts; for they become words..."

Wanted: A huge load of shit.

2008-07-12T15:15:00.004-03:00

Well, today is a good day... for the most part. I'm well rested, motivated and generally excited about life. Its amazing how easy life gets with a good night's rest behind you. I am so often tired and melancholy since my life turns into a constant rubbing and positioning of trying to fit two very different schedules into a day, get to sleep on time, and to sleep long enough to get a good amount of rest. It always seems that instead of cutting out the useless things during a day, it is often sleep that gets compromised.

I'm not sure about everyone, but i know personally my motivation is tied directly to a nights sleep. If i'm well rested i'm optimistic and hard working. For example today is a common result of a good night sleep, I have got my laundry done, ( lol believe me was basically everything that i own) got a paper read, have cultured my cells, found time to blog, and have studied the first chapter on biology form the exam crackers text book i bought a good long time ago.

That brings me to my final thought for today, medicine. As many of my friends realize, i originally quit my web programmer job, to come back to university. 5 years later, i have an undergraduate degree under my belt, and am 1 year (almost) into my masters degree. So i'm on the threshold of having to decide what to do after the masters. There is four potential options that i am considering.

1) Work
- I am not hot about this idea. Work is good in the way that i could take time to further decide where to go, but perhaps it will be just another stalling move, like so many of my other decisions. I could take a year to work as a lab tech, but perhaps instead of being the primary plan, i can use this as a secondary incase i need a year to reapply or relax.

2) Dentistry
- Oh yes, not many of you may realize that i've been batting this one around. Sadly the down side to dentistry is that i'm not in love with teeth, or dental hygiene (as i know some people are), but rather i'm excited about the lifestyle. Good pay yes, can't complain about that, but years of working on the farm has given me a need to be my own boss, and to also have alot of free time. I like the idea of work hard, play harder. After a long day i like the ability to just leave the office and relax, not to worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, as tomorrow has yet to come.

3) Phd
- High and mighty professor? Hmmmm, probably not. I have had alot of people suggest that i have the mentality to teach, and the patience to troubleshoot with people; but i don't think the minefield that is academia is for me. Looking at the kids that run around the biology department now, i have no will to emulate them. For all the time i put into getting my phd, i will not get the return back for my time as much as dentistry or medicine. Hours that are worse or on par with medicine, wages less then either. Free time? roflamo there is no such thing as free time in research. Basically you are always trying to rush and out compete someone else. Constantly trying to beat another researcher to the punch, and if you fail? Well that means the year(s) you put into your now useless (scooped) research have taken you no where and are nothing more then a learning curve.

4) Medicine
- Yes, the original idea. I am still not sure if its the whole romantic idea of medicine shown in ER, scrubs and gray's anatomy. But as you may have figured out by the initial paragraphs, i've decided to pursue this yet again. It became aparent that maybe this is a romantic dream of mine. Alas it is a dream, which means it is something that has always been on my mind. I have always been interested in medicine. This morning there was a series on cbc1, called white coat/black art. It is an extremely interesting series that looks at the inside of medicine and problems that are present there. I remember all last summer, that i'd just go hide out for an hour on wednesday mornings when it was on, so i could listen to the whole show with little distraction. Today they had a reair (is that even a word?) of a show. I was riveted! To the point that after picking up my gf from a local car shop, i sat there for 10 minutes listening, even after she proceed to argue for me to come in with her to the house. Once that block of the show was done, i rushed in (yes i even ran), to desperately find a radio to listen to the rest of the show. Only 20 extra minutes, but i was that interested. If this dream has been at the forefront of my mind for 5 years, i have an innate interest in it, and have changed my life to allow me to pursue this goal; who am i or more importantly, who is anyone else, to say that i shouldn't or perhaps couldn't reach my goal? I'm tired of defeating myself I'm picking up the yoke again, and am going to plant the seeds back into the field of my dreams. With some effort and diligence perhaps i can make the dream flourish.

Mindtrap

2008-07-11T10:42:00.002-03:00

I often wonder about my path in life. Am i where i thought i would be, am i where i need to be, am i who i want to be? Perhaps i am. I am definately my own worse enemy. Not just with doubts, but with all the traps i lay out for myself with little thought of how i am slowing myself down and throwing up roadblocks. My mind traps me within a image that i am comfortable in. Comfort is a shield i wear to block risk and failure. Perhaps its time to stop being comfortable and put both hands on the sword and start swinging.

Trying increases the chances of success 100 percent. A humorous statement that may seem like common sense, but one i've long since ignored. Just floating has become so easy that i find it hard to stand up and keep walking.

Optimistic first of many.

2008-07-11T10:28:00.002-03:00

Well, here I find myself yet again.

Alot has changed in the years since my last post and perhaps alot hasn't. I still see the blog as a potential release, hmmmm, maybe not release, but more as a focus to help keep me doing what I need to get done.

I'll bring everyone and no one up to speed on new developments in the future and perhaps I'll even get into the current mash of goals competing for my time. Regardless, this is the first post of an optimistically lazy and absent minded blogger :)

2006-11-08T10:02:00.001-04:00

Well i have gotten a mark from most of my classes by now and i know i'm doing fair, 90's for Soc, 80's in Biotech (one of my 400 classes), 80's in micro diseases, and high 70's for biochem. I didn't get a mark back from patho yet, but in about an hour i have it and supposedly he said he has the paper to pass back, so i'll see soon enough.

I'm doing fair this year, but with some motivation and alot less slacking i could be well on my way to getting good marks in my classes.

And people say i don't make plans and stick to them.

2006-11-06T10:50:00.000-04:00

Well i finally am pulling out of my slump, after a solid week of wasting money, and not doing work i have found my pace and realize taht i have little to be excited about in the next 3-4 weeks. First, i have a presentation on the diease markers of lung cancer, ie SEZ6LZ to be exact( its an intersting transmembrane protein), a take home midterm from hurta on friday, a 10 page paper on artritis due on the 15th of Nov, then the next week after all hells breaks loose.

I have a organic chem midterm, along with a microbial diseases paper ( ~ 8 pages ), and a molecular biotech paper (~ 12 pages) due. Hmmm will i procrasinate and do it all the night before? YUPPERS! Hmmmm can i use the idea that i know i'm going to procrasinate til the night before as a excuse not to do work and procrasinate now? Sure i can, i'm off to go slack off and do nothing. Well atleast i live a mostly unstressful life, puncuated with minor bouts of manic stress. YAR!

Penguin trapeze.

2006-11-03T11:48:00.000-04:00

Things i know about myself... i'm inherently lazy, and my mind is like an iceberg.

I'll humor myself and give myself a particularly large iceberg to represent my mind and like any good iceberg you need to have penguins on it. Well the penguins represent all the knowledge i have stored in my head. Now the iceberg is quite large and for the most part it is empty and open, but then day by day, year by year, new penguins are born and memorized and soon the finite room on the iceberg is filled and there just isn't enough room to move. Alas it doesn't end there, school and time stops for no one, so even though the iceberg is covered with penguins i try to cram another one on, but i knock another off. I shrug, whats one measely penguin, but over time new facts replace old ones and the cycle just continues indefinately.

I figured this all out when studying for Molecular Biotechnolgy when while memorizing the steps for the processing of a mRNA strand, i lost the abiltity to say the world competent, much to the enjoyment of my fellow studymates. This metaphor can be taken a step further.... when i am furiously throwing on new penguins, such as when i am approaching a midterm or final; i have penguins sitting on top of others in a pyramid-like lattice and soon with soo many little bodies being pushed off into the water, the temperature of the water around my iceberg rises. The bottem begins to melt and soon the top is heavier then the bottem and BAM! it tips over and all the penguins are knocked off and i am forced to take a break after the midterm as i have no thoughts left in my head. Maybe not the cleanest metaphore but the best my iceberg can come up with

Quiescence

2006-10-01T04:56:00.000-03:00

Maybe i'm odd. But sometimes things seem to just mesh, sometimes a feeling that has been on the edge of your conciousness comes sharply into focus. Its happened a few times in my life, and maybe i'm different in this respect, but when it happens its like a flash. When one of these times comes either i make a very large change in my life or they act as a confirmation of being on the right path. The last time i had one of these peaks was 5 years ago, when i found that it fit right that i should quit my rather well paying job and head to university to become a doctor.

In the tone that i carry throughout my life, i used misdirection to escape people judging. I said i hated it, or that it was too stressful and even that i was driven to drink so i moved on. I'm a such a fucking liar, and a tad bit disappointed taht no one caught on, especially since i suck at lieing. It was simply me waking up and taking stock and finding that at somepoint i had took a turn and followed someone else's path through the woods that would be life. And so i went back to university, it has been a very convulated and rocky paths but one that i would never trade for anything.

For somereason while watching one of the episodes, i heard a song that just spoke to me. "how to save a life" by the fray. Not sure why this song has such a profound effect but alas here i am sitting at the desk with my eyes closed, tears carefully hidden behind eyelids ofcourse. There are few things that get me emotional like this. Examples being stories of when someone runs out of time to tell all the people they knew how much they meant; watching someone give up on a dream and settling, and apparently this.

I have been struggling with my direction recently, and have been having alot of problems. Angst, jealosy, feelings of inferiority have plagued me; even without the added pressure of outside sources weighing on me; they have been a bitter mistress to work under. One whom's untiring arm has constantly leeched me and my soul. i am thankful to my core that this clarity, this perspicacity that has lent a hand and shifted my burden. I am as burdened with my secret feelings and my personal judgements, but with this shift in the weightb the burden is easier to bear, easier to carry. The path ahead of me is winding and i can't see the end through the trees, but i know it's there and better, it isn't a race to the end. I will arrive there as i should, bruised, blistered and burred. I have untangled some of the yarn of my life, my life cord is unraveled ahead of me, perhaps only for a short pace, but who would want it any other way? Life would be boring and tastless if it was clear of knots, snag and kinks.

Update 1.0

2006-09-18T18:14:00.000-03:00

I approached my micro prof for the second time about working in his lab and he still didn't make up his mind for sure yet, he has talked to his graduate students and theya re all for a student volunteer, lol more so taht they dont' have to do the scud work anymore. He asked how many hours a week i would be willing ot put in, and hesitated to suggest 6 hours, lol i was willing to put in more then that, 6 hours aweek would be ajoke. So he said he would have to wait til wednesday to make up his mind, as he had to find a graduate student willing to keep me busy with work. So lets cross our fingers. While you might be shaking your head on what ever is he thinking of offering to do the jobs the students who work on under the prof dont' want to do, well its quite simple, this is a huge in. "In", meaning that i'm confident the prof likes me, and if i can show i work hard and have an interest in the topic, perhaps it will open doors to a master ;). That being said i'm still not going to stop busting his chops when he is in class, i actually think he likes it strangely.

As for other things, i'm just studying biochemistry tonight, not doing well. Which is nothing new, but it must get done; who the hell really needs to know about the pyranose and furanose rings? bah! or more exact Bah! with a capital B. Anyway off to do more reading, have a good day all.

A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Why?

2006-09-14T21:57:00.000-03:00

Help.

A rather simple word. Four letters, a single vowel; why does such a small innoculous word bring such large connotations? An online dictionary defines help as:

help –verb (used with object),
1.
to give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively with; aid; assist: He planned to help me with my work. Let me help you with those packages.
2.
to save; rescue; succor: Help me, I'm falling!
3.
to make easier or less difficult; contribute to; facilitate: The exercise of restraint is certain to help the achievement of peace.
4.
to be useful or profitable to: Her quick mind helped her career.
5.
to refrain from; avoid (usually prec. by can or cannot): He can't help doing it.
6.
to relieve or break the uniformity of: Small patches of bright color can help an otherwise dull interior.
7.
to relieve (someone) in need, sickness, pain, or distress.
8.
to remedy, stop, or prevent: Nothing will help my headache.
9.
to serve food to at table (usually fol. by to): Help her to salad.
10.
to serve or wait on (a customer), as in a store. –verb (used without object)
11.
to give aid; be of service or advantage: Every little bit helps. –noun
12.
the act of helping; aid or assistance; relief or succor.
13.
a person or thing that helps: She certainly is a help in an emergency.
14.
a hired helper; employee.
15.
a body of such helpers.
16.
a domestic servant or a farm laborer.
17.
means of remedying, stopping, or preventing: The thing is done, and there is no help for it now.
18.
Older Use. helping (def. 2). –interjection
19.
(used as an exclamation to call for assistance or to attract attention.) —Verb phrase
20.
help out, to assist in an effort; be of aid to: Her relatives helped out when she became ill. —Idioms
21.
cannot or can't help but, to be unable to refrain from or avoid; be obliged to: Still, you can't help but admire her.
22.
help oneself to,
a.
to serve oneself; take a portion of: Help yourself to the cake.
b.
to take or use without asking permission; appropriate: They helped themselves to the farmer's apples. Help yourself to any of the books we're giving away.
23.
so help me, (used as a mild form of the oath “so help me God”) I am speaking the truth; on my honor: That's exactly what happened, so help me.

23 differing meanings for a 4 letter word? One recurring theme that comes through all the listings is that help can be offered but does not have to be accepted. Or even that help needs to be asked for, and only then is it welcomed.

I'm a staunch believer that help may be offered, but if not accepted, that i should not be forced or used against the person who refused the help. Then why do some people have a compulsive need to constantly force themselves or their mindset upon others? Why must others constantly make things harder even when asked not to do the very things that will make it harder for themselves? Do these people have a compulsive need to be miserable? I honestly don't know but like a moth drawn to a flame, they constantly reinterate the very actions that lead to their own pain then have the audacity to blame others? Why blame the ones who asked for them not to even darken this path? So many questions left unanswered and so much blame attributed to other people. Why?

Rar!

2006-09-13T21:26:00.000-03:00

Yar!
Well i'm in high spirits, and studying, who could have thunk it to be so? After two days of slacking off, i have allowed my subscriptions to my online games expire, which is harder then you think, as im bored out of my mind. But we will see how i cope with nothing to do, i already read 11 chapters of a novel and watched more hours of tv today then i have in the last month combined.

Alas that is the price of motivation and progress. I even approached the prof, whom i would consider my anti-thesis, and asked if he would take a student volunteer. He didn't say no, but instead asked for some time to think about it, apparently he has very little room, and as of today he now has a lab technician and 4 graduate students under him and only one bench to dedicate to his work. So i'm debating asking him on friday or whether to wait til monday. I know if i was in his position i would rather have plenty of room, but i know the more room i had would just increase the chances i would say no, so i'm a tad bit torn. It would be a stellar experience as his work revolves around cancer cells and their proliferation, which is something that really strokes my imagination. I'll keep you posted ;).

I'm in high spirits, i'm moving out of here in 2 weeks so its going to be sweet. Especially since my roomies gf got kicked out of her house and looks like she will be spending the rest of our last month here. My roomies have been bugging me to come out drinking as soon as i get my student loan, which i'm not against, but i'm not sure if its appropriate or not to ask the roomie to leave the gf home when we go out. Bah what do i care, he can deal with the ramifications, one last guys night out isn't too much to as before he heads out west to work for the next 6-7 months. Well that sums up everything on my mind atm(at the moment) so off i go. Stay safe all.

Yay University.

2006-09-12T11:37:00.000-03:00

M Making up excuses.
O Out partying.
T Taking a break.
I Ignoring your work.
V Vagrant.
A Always procrastinating.
T Time out.
I Inattentiveness.
O On Ice.
N Never working.

Impatient ramblings.

2006-09-11T22:30:00.000-03:00

Welcome back to University all.

Patience.
This is a virtue that many people overlook or believe they have. I know i don't and i won't trick myself into believing that i do. My already short span of attention and patience has been corrupted by university. How? You, my friends may ask, well with the demand of always using my time constructively i have fell into the trap of always having to be on the move, and if i rest i'm wasting my time. So in my constant effort to progress i conciously and subconciously try to spread my patience and my attention across too many paths.

Attention.
My attention span is finite, and i find i have a constant need to be doing something, or multitask. I can't talk on msn without feeling the need to busy my hands. Even with a hands free headset it just gets worse, i believe its a subconcious compulsion. Now in my mind i can talk, listen, browse websites, play games and even blog all at once. Where did i become such a diluted person.

And so end my first blog back. Maybe if i get some carefree time i will come back to edit this but alas, another task has fallen into the almost finished pile, but i have to go talk on msn.....and maybe surf the net or.....

Of Two Minds

2006-03-17T07:15:00.000-04:00

Let me sleep..
no you must stay awake...
but an hour won't hurt...
no don't you give in...
just an hour its isn' tmuch...
you don't know it all yet...
i gave you a paper already...
thats not enough i need this midterm...
no i won't accept it...
i will force you to remember...
nope i'm goign to screw you...
you already screwed me on the paper...
i wrote it didn't i?...
you wrote it like a 6 year old...
atleast its done, you won't get zero...
like you will get me on this midterm?...
yup, unless you let me sleep...
no
yes
no, im the leader here...
no you only think...
and what do you do?
i commit and make sure things get done....
you look a bit measley, i don't think he's been using you...
regardless i willl see him through this...
fine you win, but let me have a tea...
you will get tea ten minutes before the midterm...
what?!? no unacceptable
to bad give in and submit...
i will give you 6 hours, then i rest...
6 hours will be enough...
satified?...
I'm satified....
You're a demanding whore...
aye thats my job...

Motivation is bliss

2006-01-17T19:39:00.000-04:00

Well, my motivation is still playing havoc with me, so far i have 3 and a half days skipped, and we are on day 12 of clases, hmmmm maybe this is a bad start? I have my first test tomorrow in organic, so instead of studying i'm here of course...i wonder if they will come out with a pill for slacking? I would sure buy it by the barrellful.

I've put alot more time into thinking what i would like to take myself, and i'm now leaning towards a honors and possibly a masters. Either that or i would like to be a teacher. Both involve more work from me, but if i want to be anything but a ditch digger i'll need to start working more. I do have my organic chem book open in front of me in my own defense....ahem it may be not on the right page, but having it open is half the battle right?

Kris is coming home this weekend, which has me really excited. Not only will i get to spend time with her but i can also tap her motivation and use it for my own. Can we say study capital ;). Studying and cuddling and kissing oh my! Anyway i better start working.....maybe.

Months in coming and still nothing new.

2006-01-05T11:33:00.000-04:00

Hello all, its been a very long time since i last blogged, alot has happened and then alot hasn't changed. I had a tremendous christmas break, High points being the nights out and of course the one year celebration of me and Kris dating :). Low point being hands down, a friday that i ended up puking until 730 the next night, and the lowest point of that day was trying to pet the cat while leaning on a toilet, then quickly covering her eyes so she wouldn't be tramatized by me puking.

Uni has started, i honestly needed another week to be fully ready, and am currently skipping my first class.... hmmmm 3rd day of classes and skipping already? Bah humbug! I'm major league lonely but don't tell anyone ;) but time will lessen that. I always get like this, the first 5 days i go on Kris overload and then i get used to her being around 24/7, and she takes off again, then i have to readjust to alone time. but i digress.

Classes seem to be extra easy this sesmester, maybe i should study for the MCATs? i'm still undecided and its playing havoc with my motivation, hence the skipping, but maybe that will give me something to work towards, even if i decide i don't want to be a doctor. Who knows, anyway gotta read the chapter that i am skipping right now? I admit i'm an odd odd man. :)

Best Surprise Ever!

2005-12-16T10:02:00.000-04:00

I have never been good at surprises. I always seem to spill the surprise or end up telling the person about it because I get too excited myself!!:S lol ....but yesterday I pulled off the BEST SURPRISE EVER!!!! Here's the story: Originally I had told Brad I would be coming home on friday Dec 16th since I had to wait for sheena to finish exams as well. On wednesday I found out that Sheena was going to stay and party with her law friends and come home on saturday with Brodie...so....I decided to come home early and surprise brad!! It was killing me not to tell him because i miss him so much and i was so excited to come home and see him...i had to bite my lip everytime he asked when I would be home! On the day of the surprise everything worked out perfect! I talked to him before I left Halifax and told him I was going "shopping" for the afternoon ( really, I was driving home:P) then when I got home I left him a message saying i was "watching a movie"! I even changed my msn picture so he wouldn't know I was at a different location! It was perfect! Later that night I headed over to his place. I hid my shoes in the closet and parked the car away from his house. I waited in his room until he came home from hanging out with his friends. As soon as he came into the room I yelled, "Surprise!" The expression on brad's face was priceless!! It ended up being the BEST SURPRISE EVER! Brad was so happy and so was I!!:) I love surprises! This was a perfect way to start off the christmas break!:)

11 months!:)

2005-11-20T20:23:00.000-04:00

Team BK has been going strong for 11 months!!!:) woo hoo!:) Here are 11 inside jokes from the mind of Team BK! Enjoy!:)

1.Greg is an important team member.
2. Betsy
3. Kristen Moo
4. Black and white sheets
5. No underwear
6. Butt sweat
7. Double shower heads
8. Hair or no hair?
9. Eddy
10. Massages and more...
11. Happy as Dancing Pigs!! :)

1,2,3 GO TEAM!!:)

3 Days!

2005-11-07T08:21:00.000-04:00

This is a message for Piglet : "Please come home, we miss you!"

Don't cry Betsy, everything will be ok. Piglet will find her way home. I'm here for you if you need anything. I'm sending lots of hugs and kisses. xoxoxoxo

3 days until the long weekend! I can't wait! Things have been crazy around here! So much work to do and not enough time to do it all!! I'm so sick of studying! I can't believe I have my first clinic competency this week!! AAHHH!! Time is going by so fast!

Busy week ahead, back to the books. Exam tonight :(

I miss you so much Betsy! I can't wait to see you!
Je t'aime beaucoup! :)

the beginning of a blog

2005-11-07T06:05:00.000-04:00

I am losing sleep over a cat. I woke up at 5 this morn, and now i can't seem to go back to sleep. Darrell or one of his friends let the cat out saturday night, and she hasn't come back yet. I have myself convinced that i didn't like her anyway, but here i sit wishing she would be scratching at my door, annoyingly meowing "overfeed me".

Last night at 5, when i went to the bathroom i looked out the window and saw movement by the patio, with my heart in my throat i pulled the screen down, and stuck out my head yelling piglet.! piglet!. only then did i realize that the movement was waddleing, and then i quickly pulled my head back in.... it was a skunk, thank God i didn't go down and run out the door!

To Overcome Inertia.

2005-11-06T09:37:00.000-04:00

Inertia. Resistance or disinclination to motion, action, or change.

I feel like someone is sand bagging me, trying their best to keep me from my dreams, from my own happiness and from satifaction. This someone is myself. This is my fearful find, though i suspected such, i can get the marks for med school, for that i am sure, but my confusion whether or not i want to go that route, destroys the drive i have, it rips the sails from from me. Without the drive, i get lazy and apathetic. I am tired of always fighting myself each step I take.

My own stubborness is like a metal weight i carry each day on my leg. I look over my shoulder as i strive for the future and i find i am not taking the straight path, but one that is meandering and broken. Is apathy my lot in life?

My name is lethargy, apathy, lassitude and i grow tired of my own ineptness, my own stallings.

Wanted:

Dead or alive:
Motivation or Initiative.

Who knows?

2005-11-05T22:49:00.000-04:00

Sometimes what you think is bad turns out to be the best thing that could happen. My uncle (age 52) had a minor stroke about a week ago. A mild one, if there is such a thing. Last friday, he started having problems using his right arm and couldn't hold a pen. Then he slept on it and then the next morning he woke up and couldn't talk. So of course they rushed to the hospital. There had been a blood clot in his carotid artery and it blocking blood to his left hemisphere. An anti cogulate was introduced to his system and the problem was adverted, he regained full use of the arm and regained his full ability to speak.

I heard today that during the blood tests they took after the stroke they found that he had a rare type of blood cancer. Where about a normal person has about 250 000 platelets per cubic mm (thank you general physiology), he has close to 10 000 000. Which is why he ahd a blood clot in his carotid. Now with some critical thinking, you realize that i) Platelets are dead cell membranes, not far from what rbc's are. and ii) they are formed in blood marrow, and the platelets themselves are not cancerous, his bone marrow is. Though we have been told it isn't leukemia.

I have only lost 1 person in my life, and am rather inept at any type of grief, or dealing with death. We shall see how i deal with it....

6 Quirks/ Habit

2005-10-14T17:23:00.000-03:00

Ok Bradley, hope you enjoy these!! I haven't blogged in forever so I guess it's about time I start to again!

1. I'm a clean freak! I clean all the time and sometimes I even clean up after other people! lol! I'm don't mind a little mess but I'm totally the type that always has a pretty clean room!

2. I get stressed way to easy about school and everything else in life, even the stupid little things.

3. I worry way to much, I need to learn to relax more.

4. I still sleep with stuffed animals and my blanket!! Eddy is my favorite!

5. I normally do work as soon as I get it, I'm not a big procrastinator, however there are some occasions where I put things off....like my stupid Teeth models!! ggrr

6. I love the show sex and the city!! I've seen every show at least 10 times if not more!!

6 Quirks/Habits

2005-10-14T00:43:00.000-03:00

6 Quirks and weird habits, hmmmmm

Since everyone is explaining their closets... I organize mine, based upon the heat retention of the clothes, with my "hottest" sweater on the left and my thinnest t shirt on the right.
I keep my room messy, 'cause ever since i was a child i would clean rather then study for a test, and therefore conditioned myself to be stressed when my room is clean.
It take an hour of cleaning my room before i can study hardcore for my first midterm/final.
I don't take notes, prefering to rely on my retention and a good text book.
I like being sick, it allows me to be lazier then usual and not feel guilty about it.
I play video games to reduce stress, if i don't allow myself to play games, i will eat to reduce stress, and if i'm being particularly strong willed, and i don't play games, or eat, i will sleep to reduce stress.
I DO NOT say maybe too much, i DO NOT have a fear of commitment, and Kris loves it everytime i answer with maybe....honest. by the way i DO NOT lie, ever....maybe

Well there is another 15 mins of study time i can't get back :). I'm now reinterating the call for Kris to blog her 5 best quirks or habits ;).

What does it take to blog?

2005-10-14T00:08:00.000-03:00

Boy! am i stressed, tomorrow i have a test that i already saw one girl start to cry over. Its a hurta test, you know the prof that is my antithesis. I tried to go to sleep at 8 in the attempt to get 7 hours then get up at 3, but i'm so over stressed i keep categorizing my sleep while i sleep, it was hell. Midterms bring out the worst in me, or atleast in my dreams. Two nights ago i lead the reinvasion of my body by leading my white blood cells in their offensive agains the evil mutated viruses, that had taken hold in my body. The weirdness didn't stop there, even though my white blood cells were misshapen circles as they are in the human blood stream, they somehow got snow camoflauge uniforms, but the arms and legs of the uniforms just hung there limp 'cause they of course didn't have legs or arms, go figure! I woke up confused but happy, i was winning i'm sure of it, i somehow orchestrated a flanking prong and had the virus on their heels, now if i could only figure how i did it seeing how i don't know what a flanking prong is?

Well i'm thinking or volenteering in a new location, to a) beef up my resume, and b) to just get a feel of helping kids and teaching. I will be volenteering with Students for Literacy. While my post is actually a homework help session, rather then a literacy initative, it should be fun. It starts monday, so i would love to get my police record check to them and all my forms in so i can start this monday.

Gah who would force us to remember the goldman constant field equation? Yes it owuld be satan, here i'll try to get it to display correctly, if not to help me remember by thinkin gof it, atleast i will waste my studying time....

Em = RT * ln (PK)[K+]out + (PNa)[Na+]out + (PCl)[Cl-]out
-------F ------(PK)[K+]in + (PNa)[Na+]in + (PCl)[Cl-]in

cramps and dizziness and nausea, Oh My!

2005-09-29T21:10:00.000-03:00

Well i decided to go to judo tonight, that is where my good sense left me. You see i am as sick as a dog, i'm dizzy and my legs are cramped to hell. Apparently i let myself get dehyrated, which explains the cramps and dizziness. And as for the nausea, i ate wendys before judo, all the tumbling and throwing quickly had my stomach churning. ugh!

So now i sit here, still panting (i biked back home) , with my head between my legs, trying to keep the hell food down and digested.

On the plus side i got the workout of a lifetime, they sure work you. I even was surprized to find my cousin Chris there today, he is a blue belt, and hasn't been back in 3 years. Some good sparing. He wiped the floor with me, but on the good note, i learnt to break fall just a little bit better. Not to mention how to stand up using the least amount of energy, so i acn conserve some to get thrown again;). Okay i'm going to go lean over thje toilet, the head between the knees is making me dizzier and that is compounding the nausea.

That's nuts!!

2005-09-29T12:38:00.000-03:00

Well I guess you had quite the exciting night!! That's nuts about your brother and his car!! Crazy stuff!!

I just finished another week of clinic and WOW am I ever frustrated!! I'm so confused and I can't figure out the stupid FULCRUM!!! AAAAHHH!! I just want to scream!!! Me and the Probe are Not friends right now!!!!! GGGRRR I really hope it all falls into place soon../sigh

Good news tho, Bradley comes tomorrow!!!:) I can't wait to see him!!

1 class this afternoon, then the dental social, then home for some hard core studying before the micro exam tomorrow!!! :S

Good Morning

2005-09-29T08:26:00.000-03:00

Good Morning...again. Boy am i groggy, i can barely think coherently, blah! Well i just cleaned my little brother's car, there was 5 beer, 4 open, and 2 bottles of spite, one mixed. There is a benefit.... there is a loonie on the back seat, one of hte guys must have dropped it, so thats my payment for picking up the car ;).

I have volenteering then a single lab today, i also hope to get my credit card attached to my online banking accounts and pay back the parentals, the money i borrowed, than that should be everyone i owe money.

That about sums it up, so i'm off to shower then to volenteering. ;)

I didn't spill a drop of beer while driving!

2005-09-29T03:33:00.000-03:00

Yawn! well good morning everyone, i knew i was going to get woke up early this morning since i expected to steal mom's car for volenteering, but to do so i would have to catch her on her way to work at 6, but i guess i don't have to borrow her car anymore. I have my little brothers. The little shit got pulled over and taken in for impaired driving.

So mom came in an dpicked me up and we found his friends before we found the car and i quote "He wasn't really drinking". I know my little brother and he called me about 10 mins after mom called to see if i could come get the car, and he was impaired, not fall down drunk, but definately mentally impaired. So after picking up the guys, they directed us to the car, which still had a police car with lights behind it waiting for our arrival. So i just jumped in and started her up, and note my surprize when i first go to put my foot on the clutch, but instead i put it on a open half bottle of beer. What the hell can i do with it? I certainly can't set it outside the car since the police are right there, so i just moved it to the passenger seat foot area....onto another opened beer, /sigh i thought i was dumb when i was young, 2 open beers in a car is just stupid let alone illegal so with much trepridation i start moving, albeit slowly since its been a year since i last drove a standard, but thankfully i didn't stall it and managed to get up a side street so that the cops weren't behind me.

On the next turn i hear, of all sounds, clinking from behind my seat, so i take a quick look over my shoulder and see of all things, more beer on the floor, i'm like "oh fuck...." if i get pulled over there goes my licence too, there has to be 6 beer, 2 i know are open, and more that could be open in the back but i don't wan tto know about! But i made it home, and without spilling any thing from the open beers too! How often do you want to be bragging about that? "I drove so well i didn't spill any of the open beer on the drive home". I just left everything in the car, i'm going to have to get rid of the beer tomorrow so i can drive the car to volenteering. Anyway i figured i would blog the event before i forgot it, now i'm off to bed for some more sleep.

Je t'aime beacoup!

2005-09-28T21:01:00.000-03:00

2 days until the weekend!!! I can't wait!! Bradley is coming to visit! It's gonna be great!!:)

I just want you to know I LOVE YOU and I MISS YOU!:) xoxoxoxoxo

Jas brought me cookies tonight!!!

So much work to do and so little time. Back to the books :S

My Veneer

2005-09-28T18:17:00.000-03:00

Well, i was worried i would have alot of work to catch up with before going to see kris this weekend, but i'm surprisingly on top of it all. I have half a organic lab report to finish, and a computer science assignment to do, but besides that its all just plain studying. My room seems to be cleaning itself, or maybe i am just not making as big as a mess as i am cleaning up, but who would believe that?

Ever notice that somewhere in the past you made a brief concession so that people would like you better, then you made another brief one.... then another. Now I find myself completely different then i really am, i'm a self centered whore but not that anyone would know. I like my self centered and conceited ways. Now i don't have the heart to show my true colors, but to constantly be different is taking so much energy. I often wonder how many different brads i am to the world, and which one is truely the real one? Would i recongize it? I wore so many different faces, i don't know which is mine.....

The power of a dream

2005-09-27T09:15:00.000-03:00

I have never had a nightmare past the age of 10. That is not saying i didn't have the same dreams after 10, just that i was "strong" enough to control them and they ended as i wanted them to. Last night i had the worst dream i have ever had, its effect wasn't fear as young dreams orbit around, it was pure pain. Not physical pain, but emotional, even now i sit here shocked and extremely upset. I spent the first 15 minutes just laying there trying with all my heart to convince myself that it was just a dream, but it didn't work so here i am, in the hopes of saying it aloud and opening it up to the world will take some of the force and pain i still feel.

I thought it was a cliché when people said they were afraid of sleeping, i have no will to sleep, i fear the dream will resurface. I sit here with my headphones on listening to the music loud enough that it hurts my ears, yet i continue to increase the volume, i am hoping to drown out the mutterings of my own mind. The music fits my mind as it distorts and becomes a symphony of dissonance, strangly i feel most comforted by the fact that even the purity of music is capable of being filled with discord.

It feels like someone took a heated brand of steel and seared it through my heart. Metaphors does it no justice, i know it wasn't real, but i feel so alone. Honestly this isn't even helping either, maybe i lack the skill to express myself, or that words cannot express a feeling so absolute. Flashy and colorful metaphors and explanations cannot describe it. The pain hurts so much. Time will dull it and will allow me to forget it. Who would have thought a dream would cause such angst and despair.

/sigh

2005-09-20T21:42:00.000-03:00

Sometimes there is no point on onloading your feelings, especially if they will only weigh down someone who already has a large enough load that they are fighting against to keep their head above water. I am tredding my water well, alittle more baggage is not going to matter. Stress has a way of sapping the strength along with its emotional weight, making it doubly hard to keep above the water. Besides some new stress, my classes are going well, so far i have 87 percent in my first test, i'm optimistic i can get higher on the next one, i just need to stay commited.

I feel like blogging, but lack the emotional zeal i usually possess to write animately or even interestingly, gah guess i might as well hit the sack, good night all, see you when dawn brings another day.

For a joke list, its surprising how relevent some of these are...

2005-09-20T21:14:00.000-03:00

Rules That Guys Wished Women Knew:

1)Crying is blackmail.
2)Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
3)Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4)Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5)Get rid of your cat.
6)Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
7)Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8)Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
9)You have too many shoes.
10)If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
11)Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
12)Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13)Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14)Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15)A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16)Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17)Sunday = Sports
18)If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19)If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20)Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21)Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22)You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
23)Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
24)You have enough clothes.
25)Nothing says "I love you" like sex.

by the by

2005-09-20T19:18:00.000-03:00

I would love to know what proceeds a mood change, so i would be aware to what caused it and i would avoid it, but alas.

Nothing new

2005-09-09T13:59:00.000-03:00

Well the first real day of classes was today, and it was enjoyable. Took me a class or two to get back into the swing of things, but i'm not sure how long i'll be taking notes. The way i study is to go to class and highlight everything the prof says that is in the book and just put foot notes in the margins. It makes for a easy way to keep up on whta the prof says, and i can actively listen to him the whole time.

Piglet wasn't bad last night, i only woke up once to her meowing, i'm hoping she is getting used to not sleeping in my room, but dave slept down stairs last night so i hate to say it but i would attribute the silence to him being around for her to pick on. Sadly that about covers my day so far.

Want some nookie???

2005-09-09T10:19:00.000-03:00

I heard this word for the very first time last night and couldn't stop laughing! lol! I don't even know if it is spelled correctly but that's not the point...the person who said it to me knows what I mean!
So yeah...I miss the nookie!!;)

On a more normal note...Dental Hygiene is going good. I'm just about finished my second week here and so far so good. I have met lots of great people so far and I'm continuing to meet more new people each day! The work load is going alright, it is starting to pile up which sucks, but i'll get it all done..somehow..Clinic was a bit overwhleming this week but hopefully once i get used to it things will get better.

I miss Brad, Piglet and Blushy a lot...i can't wait to see you guys!!:)

Self suffciency is a facade

2005-09-08T18:58:00.000-03:00

Sometimes you can feel forgotten, everyone eventually moves and leaves you. Sometimes the division is physical such as moving from the island, sometimes its more sublte, a gap that grows over time. Friends that once were there are gone, sometimes willingly sometimes not, lives grow and change. Bit by bit people start to enjoy spending time with new people and the old friends can't help but feel left. I would blissfully close my eyes if i could. They are wide and open staring like watching a terrible disaster with sick fasination. With open eyes closed fiercely i pretend to pretend. A door open is one that must be closed, and so a soul.

I look out my window and stare out past the spruces that guard my window and remember the old times, the young times. Friendship and laughter is all that i needed to be happy, complexity rendered my beliefs wrong. Life grew and now under its looming shadow i feel stunted and jaded. Why do i need a career, a goal, a plan that is not my own? I was happiest in the quiet times between the jokes. Now time is moving and carrying me along. My state of mind is playing with me.

Its hard to take a long road and watch someone on another road doing what you wish you could do. My decisions taste bitter in my own mouth, it wears on me. Unsurely i plod my own course hoping that happiness comes back, maybe its around the next forest edge. Its hard when you focus on the enjoyment on another lives path, i think i'm missing my own landmarks. I'm missing making my own landmark. My own exocism is here and when i look at the shadow i can't bear it, its not the shade i wish it would be, maybe a decision i made colored it and now it taunts and toments me; crouched and dangerous it stalks me.

I look at my palisade and watch it thin in the weather that is life. Its name is self suffciency. Everything i find i build myself on, has a root in this thinning wall. The conciquences are fearful, a weakness that i proclaimed as my greatest strength. To open my arms and accept this may be my salvation. A puzzle of my own minds creation confused me. And now i labor to untie myself of the bounds of my own life. I guard my wall with a wall, its an endless quest i make for myself.

Don't try to make sense of the post, it doesn't make alot of sense to me and i wrote it. Each paragraph was wrote at the same time as seperate enities each one full of ideas that come out together but are unrelated. In the light that is my minds eye i burn away the shadows and lay bare what i hide there. Maybe using this blog as a bit of a diary is not the best way to go about it, but to stand bare and open to the world is refreshing. I"m sorry if some of the sentences are cryptic and confusing, my mind just described and i wrote and didn't judge, please have an equal curtsy. A breeze is needed to clear out the stagnant smell thoughts held too closely create. Listen to Jill barber - In Perfect Time while reading this, a song brodie introduced me to, it's a song that speaks and strips layers.

Complaints

2005-09-08T15:10:00.000-03:00

Well, i don't have classes today, but on a regular day i will have a lab in the afternoon, which makes it the perfect choice to volenteer on, which is what i did. I volenteer in physio on thursday mornings. It was easy since all i'm really doing is porting patients around, but volenteering is volenteering :). My drive got the day off so i had to bike to the qeh but it was refreshing.

Today i also when to go pick up my first 2 books and my first lab manual, ugh! I didn't even pick up my hardcover books and i'm already at 211, but seeing how both hardcovers will run me around 134 each i can see this getting worse, sigh.

I got a kitten about 3 weeks ago, and while she is cute and mild mannered, she is slowly eating at my sleep. She doesn't understand that humans sleep in a block so she will get up on the bed and meow in your ear until you either throw her off the bed or you just wake up and give up on a good nights sleep. I am at a loss of what to do, i'm to soft hearted for my own good i think. The best option was to just lock her out of my room, and the roomates to close their doors to so she would get used to not sleepign in the rooms, needless to say she wasn't impressed. She meowed all friggin night, i even dreamed she was meowing, that cat is even invading my dreams if she can't invade my sleep time. At 5 this morning i gave up on sleep and just let her in since anytime i rolled over she would take up the meowing with a renewed spirit. I don't want to lock her up in the down stair bathroom with the litterbox, but i can't even sleep when she's not in my room. We shall see i'm hoping to just wear her down and she will stop meowing we shall see.

Wishing I was at the beach

2005-09-07T15:47:00.000-03:00

It's really hot in the city today. I'm sitting here in my room wishing I was at Covehead beach. It is days like today that make me really miss PEI. I miss the smell of the beach and hearing the sound of the waves crashing as they hit the shore. I'm remembering all the great times that were had on Covehead beach this summer. Such a great place! The best part about Covehead Beach is going over to Covehead Harbour and getting food!! soo good!

The beach, until the city, is peaceful and relaxing. I can't wait until next summer!

Multiple blogs thoughout the first day

2005-09-07T09:01:00.000-03:00

Developmental Biology. GAH! Satan is teaching Developmental Biology, or as some may call him.... Dr. Hurta. I had already noticed him as the professor of one of my courses and dropped it like a hot potato, but i didn't know he taught this course until i was already sitting in it! He seems okay, and was cracking jokes, but i know its all a falsehood to lull us into a false sense of security before he bends us all over for the final! There is only one person i know enough to talk to during developmental, but that should be enough since she talks so fast i can't keep up. Now i'm just wasting time between my first and second class. I hope i know more people in it then the first class.

General Physiology. Well you know when God is shitting on me, can you all guess whom is teaching half my second course? Come on guess, hint it was a he and if i knew he was teaching i'd have dropped it like a bad habit.... yuppers he is. ugh why does God hate me? The only saving grace is that atleast 2 of my study buddies are in this course with me so we can wade though the material together and help oneanother if we start getting swamped.

English Literature. But a more accurate summary would be Poetry. Apparently the prof has a love of it and is focusing wholely on poems; crappers the shit must have hit the fan 'cause i'm getting a face full. Imagine my surprise when i find that Peter is in the same class, atleast we can complain and roll our eyes at each other through out the sesmester.

Organic Chemistry. I'm optimistic about the possiblity of a good mark in this class as long as i'm on top of it all, but we shall see. I didn't do excellant in first year chem due mainly to the fact taht i couldn't remember what i learnt in chemistry in high school, i have a feeling the same problem may be lurking around the corner, but i'm already heading it off, i'm reading my first year chem book, honest.

Computer Science. After a hour break, the Fifth class begins, Computer science. This one will be alot of work, but will be easy, especially since the language they are teaching us i already know. I will of course need to go back and relearn the syntax but it will come back quickly.

Today is my hardest day, i am taking 5 courses this sesmester and i have 5 courses today, and once the labs kick in i'll be on campus until 4, which is uber considering that i will have 5 courses and a lab and still make itout before supper ;). My tuesdays and thursdays are easy, both consist of a single lab, friday's i'm done at 1220 and mondy is moderately hard. Monday is the only wrench in my plan, i hate having a hard first day of the week but to get off at lunch on friday is uber!

There are two truths in life

2005-09-06T15:57:00.000-03:00

I sit here presently confused, i'm not sure were i want to go and what to do... with my life. Those who know me know i want to go to med school, but i'm not so sure now. It could be that i purposely picked a goal out of my reach, or i just wanted the respect that that profession would garner me, or maybe its someone else's dream? One that was subltely imprinted on me at a young age. My mother brags to her friends taht i want to be a doctor, but everytime i hear her say it i lose a tiny bit of my motivation. I'm beginning to feel trapped in my own goal because so many people have been told "He going to be a doctor". I fear that my will to be a doctor is dissappearing because i hate feeling trapped. So much i push back against the bars, in this case, my own decision to try for med school.

Maybe i'm just afraid of having no goal, or maybe i'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid to pursue my dream incase i fail.... but i'm more afraid of never trying.

There are two kind of truths in the world, those that are real, and those that we convinice ourselves of.

Musings

2005-09-06T15:09:00.000-03:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day, the first day of the sesmester. I'm pumped, i have even cleaned up my room and got it back to the way i need it to be to study sucessfully. I have even canceled my subscription to a video game so that i won't be playing it when i need to study, i'm not sure what i will do with my free time, but i went from never watching tv (the tv in my room has been on the weatherchannel for 3 months) to having it on for the last 2 days.

While cleaning my room it occured to me... i have been here for a year, maybe its aobut time to put things on the wall...hmmm so i did, mostly just maps and posters from national geographic and such, but anything to cover up all the empty white walls. I'm even thinking of buying frames for the first time in my life and put real life pictures on my wall. But that will have to wait til i get my student loan.

Hmmmm what else, nothing i guess, thats all i can think of, until tomorrow of course when i can tell you about all the new things and how my classes look to be shaping up.

As for how i'm doing, well personally i'm a tad lonely, no that is a lie, i'm very lonely, i miss kris. lol and i only helped her move just over a week ago, and seeing how winter break isn't until the 20th of December roughy that means there is, give me a sec to add this up...15 weeks until the 20th. I'm this lonely after a week, i hate to see how i will be 15 weeks from now! I'm optimistic that once school starts in earnest that i will be swamped and will not think about how i wish she was here, lol and maybe i should get more upbeat songs too, they are dragging me down. Anyway thats all for now, or is it; it just occured to me that i never mentioned that i had got a kitten. I'll blog more about her later, this blog is big enough as is.

4 days, 3 nights, no shower, booze and no cushion to sleep on

2005-09-04T13:13:00.000-03:00

Well i just arrived back from the rolling stones concert. Plenty has happened, most of which it may take me a couple of days to remember it all but i'll go over a interesting day by day event description.

Well we left around 630 on thursday night, planning on beating the crowds to the concert before they got unmanagable, also because we all wanted to start the long weekend early :). Well after dropping off the cat to the parentals we just had a single stop in summerside to pick up jordon, the forth on our trip, even with all of us only taking a single kitbag, we had no room, the two people in the back couldn't see eachother we had so much stuff packed in the car! So after a quick stop for a "smoke break" we were off to the campground. We arrived around 10 to a welcome party of mosquitos, and i mean they were big suckers, big enough to drain a man of blood in an hour. And we had planned so much about how we were getting there we didn't play what we needed to be there.... in this case we forgot bugspray...ugh! So of course we did what we had to do, we drank and took a couple smoke breaks to forget about the bugs and to quite frankly settle in. Didn't take us long to invite the neighbors over... especially since we coudn't start a fire so our neighbor who has spent 26-27 years in the army used soem army stuff taht burns forever to start our fire, so in return dave and darrell tried to hit on his daughter the whole weekend ;).

Well day 2 began uneventful, and with some minor comments about eachothers intellect and after we all felt superior to eachother we invited the neighbors daughter(whom will be called stacy henceforth) to come to parlee beach with us, after some disapproving looks from the father we were off. The beach was beautiful, they must clean the seaweed off the beach daily, but the tire tracks were annoying, they were everywhere. Quickly we realized our second error... no sunscreen, so after bathing in skin cancer we were a delightful red color we decided we had all we could take so we drove back to beat the traffic, and didn't there were campers lined out to the highway when we got there, but since we were there we luckily were able to bypass the line, whew! So after a quick dip in the camp pool we started drinking again.

Day 3, the day of the concert /grins, we got up drank a bit then left for the buses taht would take us to the concert around 11. This is where the first interesting thing happened... on the way to the concert our bus blew a tire, it was like a shotgun going off, but with a minor swerve and an unbatting eye, the bus driver continued without even getting out to check the tire! After arriving we sat around in the blazing heat until 3pm when the first band started, decent band besides them singing wholely in french, a bit of a bust. The second band, Our Lady Peace, was for me the best band to play the concert, Raine belted out some new songs and a few crowd favorites, next was Maroon 5, this band blew, it was all love songs at a rock concert, blah! Forth was The Tragically Hip, great band, and very crowd friendly. Then at 830 the Rolling Stones began, and boy did they begin! All the lights and fireworks were amazing! There are only two wishes i have for the weekend, 1 taht the crowd got into the early bands a bit more, and that i knew more rolling stone songs. Well the no sunscreen and no bug spray is another wish i had but we survived ;). Hmmm and the fact that all we brough to eat was hotdogs and sauages ugh if i never see antoher it would be too soon. Well my mind is numb, not from blogging but since i'm so tired and hungover, i'll update this post later as things come to me :)

1st Week of Dental Hygiene Done!

2005-09-02T13:39:00.000-03:00

I just finished my first week of Dental Hygiene at Dalhousie University! WOO HOO!!!! I still can't believe I'm here and now the first week of classes and orientation are done! Time is already going by fast! It's gonna be a crazy year!!

So far I'm having a great time! The girls I have met so far are awesome and lots of fun! The profs all seem pretty good and so far the courses look doable so I think it'll be alright.

Tonight I'm going on a Harbour Cruise with the other Hygiene students and then down to Pacifico! Should be a fun night!!

This weekend is our first long weekend!! Double woo hoo!! I've still got some shopping to do and some errands to run before my crazy schedule starts next week.

Overall I'm really enjoying Halifax and Dental Hygiene. I'm excited and curious to see what the future holds!

Summer ends, Yet the excitment hasn't begun.

2005-08-31T15:47:00.000-03:00

Well, I'm almost sure i'm skipping out on going to the Rolling Stones concert this weekend. I hate to think i'm missing something but sacrifaces must be made. I won't go through the whole reason backing this but give you the abbreviated version.....money. Well with that explained well and consisely i can move on to other things.

I just got off the phone with the QEH volenteer coordinator, and have set up my post for this sesmester. And gratefully i'm moving out of the ER. People assume the ER is a great place to volenteer, what a misconception! It is the most boring place to volenteer and since the nurses are used to seeing hundreds of new faces in a day, its hard to get to know them due to the fact that they can be cold. Honestly when you think about it why would it be exciting? Do you honestly believe that they hospital is letting its volenteers help in traumas?

The new post is in physio, and i do nothing more then transport old people, but its fun. I can vouch for this personally since it was my first posting in the hospital. Seniors are a wealth of interesting stories, many about dumb drunken things they did when they were young.

I also worked today, besides that the day was a bust, but if i can manage to clean my room ( which to those close to me realize, it is hell for me ) then i can say today was productive.... whom am i kidding, i'm not cleaning up! ;) While working today my mom also made a delicious hamburger stew, mmmmmm! So of course i did what any sane person would do, i guarded it jealously over lunch and then stole it when i finished for the day ;). Anyway i'm off to slack off in my dirty room while ignoring the fact that i have heard 3 seperate dates for the first day of uni, and with the first suggestion is only 4 days away i have no intension of looking it up now.... i still have 3 days and 23 hours for that to get done....

HALIFAX!!!

2005-08-31T13:48:00.000-03:00

I'm finally here and in Dental Hygiene!! I can't believe it!! It's a dream come true!
I'm now living in Halifax!!! Crazy huh?? I moved in this past weekend, and boy was that no fun! I really hate moving! I hope I like it here because I'm really not looking forward to moving again any time soon!! Thanks so much to my father and Brad for all their help moving!! I love you both!!! Thanks so much for your help!! I really appreciated it!!!:)

I started classes yesterday and I LOVE IT!! I met so many new people and so far everyone is really nice!! The courses look interesting and the profs seem super cool!! I've got lots of work and fun times ahead but I'm super excited and looking forward to it all!

This week will be busy with more unpacking, cleaning, classes and orientation stuff! Lots to do!!

I miss everyone so much!! Keep in touch!

Only 1 Week

2005-08-20T15:27:00.000-03:00

The summer is quickly coming to an end. I can't believe how quickly time has gone by. It feels like yesterday I wrote my last exam at MTA and now next week at this time I'll be moving to halifax. Where does time go!!! I wish it would stop. I'm having the best summer ever!! It has been awesome. So many good times!! I'm glad I took lots of pictures....so many great memories! I'm getting really excited for halifax but really nervous too. New program, new school, new people...it's gonna be kinda nuts at first but hopefully everything smooths out nicely.

I have so many things to do, lots of people to see, and lots of packing and only 1 week left! AAAHH!!! I guess I better go get started!:P

I love summer, especially summer on PEI!

My secluded location of verve.

2005-07-27T11:37:00.000-03:00

It has 0ccured to me today, that i am an animal lover. Yes, one of those select few that will turn into a babbling idiot, spewing baby talk alliterations aimed at conveying such things as the extreme level of cuteness , that is directly proportional to the size of the animals ears and paws. Or, as it actually comes out of my mouth, “Awww! Him has PAWS!”

Its raining and overcast today so i worked for a bit then am taking the rest of the day off :). I even took time to walk to an old haunt i used to play in or to be more exact around. I used to love playing in the back woods on the farm, but for somereason today i got a urge to visit one area to be exact. There are no physical barriers or walls taht designate where the spot starts, but still i know it, there has been a piece of woods that as child i never played in, i played all around it, but there was an area that i keep out of purposely. I have no idea why orginally, maybe it was just the lichen coating the old oaks, or the ferns which were invaded by many different kinds of fungus, i don't know. It could be a ghost story i once told my little brother, that i told so well that it took a life of its own, even in my own head. I have always cherished my imagination.

This spot no longer holds a fear, hmmmm maybe fear isn't the word, ermmm... trepidation is more accurate. When i came to this spot from my past i walked boldly to it and stepped upon its threshold, then i paused unconciously. I found my want to leave this spot as a place of mystery, outweighed my will to explore. I think it is important for me to leave some places undiscovered, somewhere where i can imagine. This spot is mine, if only in my mind and memories. I think we all have a spot from our childhood that we purposely keep elevated in our minds, maybe as a spiritual recluse or as a sign of respect to our past and ourselves.

On a lighter note here is a quote my little sis read and told me...
"Some people are like Slinkies
Not really good for anything,
but they still bring a smile to your face
when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Yup...I'm blogging!

2005-07-18T18:25:00.000-03:00

It's me again! I guess I'm not really good at blogging...well between 2 jobs and everything else, there's not a lot of time..but today I found some!!

I just finished cleaning my car....aww...i love victor!!;) I went to the beach today with my students and cleaned up some garbage! fun times! It is a beautiful day out! lots of sun! I love it! I only wish I could be relaxing on the beach instead of cleaing them so much! oh well...sunday at Covehead was great!! Skinny dipping!!;)

No walmart tonight! Off to make some plans!

Skinny Dipping secretly ;)

2005-07-17T16:51:00.000-03:00

Today was the first day i have been to the beach this year, and what a day to go! It was 29 Celcius and not a cloud to be contended with. The water was cool, but only due to the heat in the air.

Well me and Kris managed to cross one more thing all couples should do, this thing was....skinny dipping. I won't go into much more detail, though by the lack of comments i doubt there is many people to surprise. ;)

The last thing to do today is to get together with sheena, brodie, and kris and eat mussels, mmmmm, me and brodie both got 4 lbs each ;) yummy! Anyway i better get off the computer and change out of my bathing suit.

I would just like to state 3 cheers for kris' commitment to blogging, one blog in one month yay!
Hip
Hip
Hooray ;p

A Real Post From Kris! My first one!!

2005-07-06T13:04:00.000-03:00

Bonjour!!

It's me!! Kris!!! It's my first post!! wow!! how exciting!!

I would like to take a moment to thank Brad for letting me post on his blog. Thanks Brad!:) You're the best!:)

I'll do my best to post as often as possible throughout the summer (because I have so much free time...NOT!!)

I'm hanging out with my crew at my place this afternoon doing some filing since we couldn't do our work outside in the rain today.

Alright, back to work.

PS: Brad I'm holding you to that shopping comment! ;)

Lazy hazy raining days of summer?

2005-07-06T12:06:00.000-03:00

Well i just got the last half of the day off today, due in totality to the rain. There was just enough rain to ensure that the timothy and clover that you cut for hay would be too wet to bail for a day or two, and made it slick enough that our ancient dumptruck(circa 1967) wouldn't make it up some of the steep hills in the back fields. So it looks like a day of video games, too bad Kris didn't have this afternoon off i wouldn't have minded doing something, i would even dare say i wouldn't mind shopping (shhhhh... don't tell her, or she may hold me to it someday ;) )

I seem to be on a blogging kick, i wonder how long it is going to last. Hmmm, i hear a horrific sound from outside my window, it has to be a crow being gutted, or if not i can imagine it being gutted. I was woken up by a murder of crows (proper terminology for a flock of crows) and there incessant cawing. I don't mind crows during the day, and infact believe they are rather intelligent, but at 6 in the morning i was not impressed. Speaking of birds i also have a pair of little yellow finches that taps on my window between 7-8 every morning, now that is a nice sound to wake up to, and they are quite beautiful. Though Kris wasn't impressed to be woken up by them on one of the few days she got to sleep in, but atleast we didn't sleep away the day ;).

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. - Susan Ertz

Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'. - Michael McClary

Stay in the sunshine

2005-07-04T23:18:00.000-03:00

Well, my news from after my previous posts is that another calf came today, he is white/gray and massive. The mother was having a particularly hard time, so my grandfather showed up to pick me up from cutting hay so that there would be some extra pull power. The birthing only took about 20 mins, very short time considering the size of the calf. But there was alot of pulling, i was sure i was going to hurt the calf or the mother since neither the pulling or the manouvering of the calf was working.

Kris just arrived from another exciting day at Walmart, and i just showed her that she can blog on the same site as me, hopefully she will get to blogging in her "8 thousand hours of free time", which as you may be able to tell was a direct quote, from the leading lady herself. Alas the clock has tolled, and the time for bed has arrived, G'Night everyone and enjoy the sun while you can. :)

Give me the splendid silent sun with all his beams full-dazzling. - Walt Witman

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Ben Franklin

Kris' first blog isn't made by Kris : /

2005-07-04T17:42:00.000-03:00

Honestly, this is brad. I'm just checking if this is set up correctly. if it is, everyone will have noticed the author's name. I've decided to share my blog space with kris, that way when i slack off for months you have her blogs to read :p. anyway i'm crossing my fingers that this worked

Blue through and through, not a cloud anywhere

2005-07-04T12:35:00.000-03:00

Hello All, Well its my first post in over a month, boy does the summer not help my blogging. Not much has happened in the last month. But i'll tell everyone in reverse chronological order what happened that i can remember.

Well yesterday Kris and me went out to her mother's friends place and borrowed his canoe and basically just spent 3 hours lounging around on the boat. It was surprisingly enjoyable, and fit both our tastes for sunny days, Kris' love of lounging around or sunbathing; and my love of doing something productive, ie rowing the canoe. Was very nice and peaceful.

The day before that we were at Dirk's parents cottage in rocky point for Canada day; was an excellant time. Good friends, good booze and better times. Honestly i was slightly dissappointed with the fire works this year, they just didn't have the brillance they had in the past.

We finished potatoe planting about 2 weeks ago and i was estatic the day we completed the last row. But farming is just a series of tasks, and now i'm starting the next crop that will keep me busy for another 2-3 weeks, hay and silage, ugh. Then a week breather and then grain. There is no end. I mentioned in an earlier post that i was second guessing my choice to not farm. Well i reached the point where i remember everything i hate about it. No more second guessing! Anyway i better get out and work or i'll have to add another hour onto my day.

Morale flagging

2005-05-25T21:50:00.000-03:00

Ugh, i got to the farm at 7:40am and i just arrive home now, at 9:45 pm. It has been a very very long day, so much so that my arms feel tired and numb as i type this. Figured i had a couple of minutes to waste before darrell gets out of the bathroom and i get to shower. Boy, do i feel dirty, my last 2 hours of work consisted of running through shit to chase cows out of the barn, and then to top off my two hours of fun, i realized the board they knocked down was in the shit, i had to reach in up to my elbows and retreive it. Farming isn't a romantic profession. Well i hear darrell, he must be out of the shower. Off i run to shower then to bed, i like having 10 mins before and after work to get ready and spending the rest of your waking hours working....Farming = meh!

kris is drunk at brad's

2005-05-22T01:52:00.000-03:00

hellos people
i am drunk at brads
i have3 an awesome boyfriend!!!!!!:)

i hope every is having a good summer
i am eatting popocorn

i wentbo baba
i wporked at walmary

Well i make it 3 out of the last 4 post were drunk ones...

2005-05-15T02:10:00.000-03:00

Well, here comes a quick drunken post. peakes key is fun, but i have the hiccups, i wish they would og away, but alas, holding my breath won't work. /sigh. Disappointed brodie didn't come oout with us, i think it was a bit underhanded to tell danielle he would show for her birthday then bl0w her off, but who knows, i trust brodie had a good reason. Peakes while fine was full of inapporiate( i admit the spelling is off ;P ) touching and some crotch grabbing but no more then usual. I swear i ran inot half the people from my high school.

I have often complained about people smelling like distillery's but i admit i smell horrific. Due to fights and dancing i have atleast 3 seperate whole drinks spilt upon me. And worse i wiped out going around the corner to the bathroom in peakes; normally i would feel terrible since i fell while drinking; but h0onestly it was due to wearing sandals, i was running in the same spot for about 4 steps before my feet went sailing, but thank God i knew the bouncer and she was just worried about me bing ok.

Any way, time for me to find something to put in my stomach so i can puke tomorrow, adn boy, will i puke! Kris is supposed to come over tomorrow night if she gets home early enough, but i'm not sure if i will be feeling good enough to hang out with, we will see.

Musings

2005-05-13T16:09:00.000-03:00

Well, after repeated calls for me to blog, i bring myself to the computer with the sole intention of blogging... only problem is i have nothing to blog about.... Hmmm i'll take a page from the book of Sheena and basically tell you about my last week.

My shoulder remains sore as hell today, the third day after being bucked from the horse. You will be surprised how long you are in the air, and what you think about. In my case i was wondering how pretty the grass looked where i was heading. Two flips and a roll later, i picked myself up to see the horse bolting for the gate, lazy me didn't get off the horse to shut it. But apparently he felt bad cause he stopped running half way up the field and started walking back to me with his head down in shame. It is hard to get back up on the horse, even after an uneventful throw like that, it really crushes your confidence. But with my shattered confidence and with much trepidation i climbed back on. I had no choice, if you don't climb on the horse after you are thrown, the domination switches in his favor and he won't listen to you as closely. Needless to say i was holding the reins tightly the second time.

I have my first bout of volenteering at the hospital today, i forgot about it last week and inadvertently missed it../sigh. But today should be fun, and i get to meet the new coordinator, i really hope she is as good as Nora, the old coodinator was. Nora seemed to bend over backwards for us students, and she knew we had school to worry about at certain times of the year. She will be missed.

Anyway time to get this dirt off my body, and head out. These next 20 minutes of scrubing is the payment for getting to play in the mud all day on the farm.... in hindsight i think its worth it ;)

When tuna resurfaces.......maybe...

2005-05-01T04:01:00.000-03:00

Well you can tell its the summer, when my first post in weeks is a drunken one. Plenty has happened, and plenty has bene drunken. Here i sit quietly, everyone else passed out, musing to myself as i eat tuna sandwiches, minus the bread and mayo.... . Speaking of cans, it bit me, the evil container, i was like mmmmm give me your dolphin free meaty insides, and the can was like, "no sucker, i bite you!" and he bit me on the back of the hand! Apparently i am indeed one of those people that sho8uldn't be left alone to fend for himself after a drunken night... How the hell does a can of tuna cut you on the back of th ehand. :s /sigh

Well besides the drunken rampage that is guys night, muich has ahppened. I started working on the family farm again, and like every year, i second guess my decision to go to university instead of working on the farm, but that tune will change by the end of th esummer. Ubh maybe tuna isn't the drunken meal that i intended it to be. My st9mach seems to be doing loops, not unlike a tuna fish flopping and fighting valiently against, its envidable fate.

I just finished calling Kris, yup nothing like a 3 in the morning call to wake up your girlfriends mother and ensure that she does hate you... I luckily keep my feelings to myslef, an didn't start blabbling away drunkenly, though i'm sure she would have wish i culd be talkd into it over the phone. :p too bad Kris, brad wins :D.

Well while kris and sheena came to the farm to ride the horse, saddily it didn't happen, for somereason he was agitated and stiff, even when removing the gear from him, he was skittish and standoffish. But instead i showed them both how to drive a tractor.

Anyway it is time for this drunken moron to pass out into his bed, i hope somehow i don't see this tuna again in the morning.... maybe fish isn't a good choice for drunken meals.....

adlk drunken posht

2005-04-18T23:52:00.000-03:00

wels 'im passing out, its only before 9 butr seeing how i'm been lup befrore 9 last ngth the lighquor has been hightting me hard, 8 hours of souild rem i mean erm... solid drinknig, i has taken its toll, so dtrahsed trashed i mean, /sigh oka 'm gonn apsass out and enjoy the day tomrforrow.

Its soo nighce too be dine foree the day, up im done, finally!

these the summer is here!

Lagging slowly

2005-04-18T03:33:00.000-03:00

i'm still kicking, though i'm starting to lag, less then 6 hours before the final, i just finished going through all the material, i have to go back through again, and rememorize everything, i just am not retaining everything i read, but that is the downfall of all nighters. ugh, my left leg for a extra 4 hours to go to sleep.

I'm at the point where i'm doing everything to keep awake and active, that includes sitting in chairs upside down, dancing to music and even doing a little hop scotch with the tiles that make up our floor. If you saw me you would swear i lost it.... but such a statement comes with the assumption that i had it to begin with ;)

I could squeeze in 2 hours of sleep and still be prepared for the final... i think, hmmm, but would those 2 hours make me more tired? I seem to be immune to power naps so i'm not sure if it will work, or if my mind will even shut off now. I'm tired enough to sleep, but i don't have the will, i shall see.

When sleep costs too much...

2005-04-18T01:44:00.000-03:00

Well i decided sleep was over rated, so i'm pulling an all nighter. There is two main and well thought out ideas. The first being that the more time i put in the better i will do. Now you can argue that the uptake ratio vs when i would be perfectly rested isn't equal when pulling an all nighter, but having enough time to get through the material is more important then not getting through the material. The second theory is that with less sleep i get drunk quicker. With tomorrow, erm well tonight staked out to be a drunk fest, and little old me with only 30 dollars to drink with in my pocket i need to streach the drunkeness out as much as possible. That does indeed involve no more meals, the no sleep hypothesis hasn't been validated yet but not eating has worked wonders on getting me trashed on very little money many times.

The only problem is that now i'm pulling an all nighter, and the last time i ate was at 2 pm yesterday so its yet another thing taht is sucking out what little energy i have. But i have hight hopes of doing well on the final exam, or atleast having the ability to drink my failure into oblivion. Atleast i'm staying optimistic right?

Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds.
- JoJo Jensen

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake.
- Author Unknown

SLEEP - Those little slices of death, how I loathe them.
- Edgar Allen Poe

Doubts cloud the sky that is my mind...

2005-04-17T02:58:00.000-03:00

And so the last day of studying starts, its discerning that i don't have all the notes that i need to finish, but i'll have to get them all before the end of the day.... I hope i can get all the studying i need in during the single day, i hope i don't have to cut into my sleep tonight, we shall see...

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.
- Francais Bacon

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
- Voltaire

Lmao! i found this quote while finding the doubt quotes, and i sit here giggling ( yes giggling is the only term that describes my laugh at the moment), it could be the fact that the quote fits my humor, that my breakfast that is cooking is gonna be rice and ketchup or that i'm just delusional at starting the day at 3 in the morning....

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
-Voltaire

A blog of a sentence

2005-04-12T20:33:00.000-03:00

Plant final is done, and i'm optimistic. Now down to studying for my two finals tomorrow /sob!
Woe to me!

Be ignorance thy choice, where knowledge leads to woe.
-James Beattie

There's only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that's if we quit.
-Craig Breedlove

Slacker to the max.

2005-04-11T12:10:00.000-03:00

Well i suck, its now 12 and i only have 2 hours of honest studying in. I can't seem to get motivated, i went to the library, but the chairs are uncomfortabe, and people keep walking by and talking to me. I could've found someone to get a room with so that i wouldn't have to deal with that, but then i don't work as efficently /sigh. So i'm reduced to being home, and with the many many disney movies i downloaded for my little sister still sitting on my computer, i am reduced to watching them instead of studying. So far Aladdin and Dumbo were the movies of the day.

My birthday passed without much fanfare, i even was in bed at 9, i hate finals, they are making me a loser.... You all can make your snide comments about me being a loser before finals right now :p. I'm saving all my drinking til the 18th, when my last final ends. We plan to be having our first drink before 12 ;). Happy birthday to Sten and Bean. Whom both turned 22 yesterday (seeing how they are faturnal twins, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise). Welcome to being old :p!

Is it a bad sign that all my presents pretty much revolve around drinking? so far i got 2 6 packs, and 30 dollars (<-- which can only be used on the 18th), a litre of cuban rum, and gift certificates for doolys. Anyway its time to get my alcoholic butt back in gear and get alot more studying in. I think it is better to be extemely confident in one subject then mediocrely confident in three. If i play my cards right i'll be able to get all three it, if i stick to just studying today.

Since i seem to be in the habit of adding quotes to my blogs here's a couple for all you alcoholics out there.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
- Dave Barry

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Humphrey Bogart

Our own bars....

2005-04-08T09:43:00.000-03:00

Well i'm slightly annoyed at my little sister, no i'm very annoyed. This morning i missed my first two classes due to the fact that the horse we are boarding got out while i was feeding the cows. All it would have taken was some attention in the last day or so, and a quick ride. I can't blame the horse, its been couped up in the barn for weeks, and jac is just ignoring it. I spend more time brushing it then she has. He really is quite cute, he greets you at the door in the morning with a snicker, and then will set his head over your shoulder so you are within petting distance of his neck. Not a very subtle reminder, when your head weights 40 lbs. The barn work is annoying when i have finals to study for and it takes up my time, but i am starting to remember what i like about working on the farm. Two hours can pass in minutes, and the whole time you are working hard and not minding it.

Something i noticed while laying down bedding for the cattle. The calves while cute, their most indearing quality is not physical. It is their curiousity. Humans age like cattle. As children, we are filled with curiousity and adventureousness (yup i'm making up words again ;) ). But as life wears us down we lose that zest that we had, and we forget to marvel at the world around us. When i look into the eyes of a cow and then into a calf, there is a difference. I see bordem, a submission. Unresisting acceptance of something that they can't change. Are we any different? Are we caged or fenced in any differently? Out bars my be less physical, but they are there. What takes the curiousity out of us, our zest? Is it the act of aging, or the process of becoming educated. In university we are not taught to think outside the box, we are to remember what the teacher told us was important to him. We reply on tests with his words, not our own. Here is a quote that fits my mood today:

Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.
-George Wilhelm

Hmmm maybe i'm gonna go out and jump in puddles, who cares if the neighbors see me, i feel like jumping in puddles.

Mighty Things.

2005-04-07T18:11:00.006-03:00

Sometimes in the mad dash called finals, we lose track of the moment, and forget what we are reaching for, and why we are putting in the effort. I came across this quote, and it seems to have hit a nerve with me, so i hope to pass it on to others.

Far better it is to dare mighty things
To win glorious triumphs
Even though checkered by failure
Than to take rank with those poor spirits
who neither enjoy nor suffer much
Because they live in the gray twilight
that knows neither victory nor defeat
- Theodore Roosevelt

People have walked this path before us, and others will follow in our footsteps. Why not take a breath, a pause, and listen to the wisdom of the past. If history repeats itself, why not use the knowledge of the past, to fight our future problems?

Reappearing posts

2005-04-05T09:10:00.000-03:00

Where do posts go when they disappear? The farm work galore post, two posts down, was the first of the last two posts to disappear into the ether. I guess they can infact find their way home. I'll have to keep my fingers crossed for the second one to spontaneously reshow. :)

What i can remember from failed postings

2005-04-05T08:51:00.000-03:00

Well after two failed blogs in as many days, i have learned the value of saving the blog as a draft, or i could copy it all into the clipboard and if i fails yet again, i can just plaste it back. Well to quickly summarize the topics that you guys all have been dying to read:

The Pope. While not of the catholic faith, he still had a profound effect on me, and of my beliefs. I just hope the new Pope elect will be as forward thinking or open to change, while still standing beside the base tenents that define his faith.

The roomies exploding beer. My roomate made a batch of homemade beer, but since he didn't realize that if you fill them too full, the carbon dioxide that is produced by the last few yeast cells that suvived the bottling process, has no where to go. And hense for several days in a row, we would be greeted in the morning by shards of glass on the floor, and the rancid smell of dried yeast/beer. He has since moved them outside; proclaiming when we said people may come and take them.."Who cares, they would probably die when they tried to open one.". Even when you open one carefully without shaking it, it will fizz and spray everywhere, its quite hilarious.

My last project. Well my last project was finished yesterday, and i spent 4 hours complianing in the plant lab as the prof spent 4 hours before finally getting to our project. I felt so bad for the next 5 groups, i was doing my best to shut him up and answer all the questions he was asking as quick as possible, but yet he continued to talk.

My furry friend. Well i got up crazy early yesterday morning to finish the project, and since i'm home on the farm for a week looking after the cattle, i decided to go get the barn work done. While filling a grain bucket, which we do by scouping the grain with our hand into said bucket; i hit something furry and quite agitated when i sunk my hand into the pile of grain. I would be pissed too if i had been woken up at 4. Poor rat. To make matters worse when doing barn work, apparently one of my boots has a hole in it... meaning that i get something slimy and squishy around my toes, and all i could hope was that i didn't have a cut on my foot.

Anyway thats all i can remember writing about, i may have missed a topic or two and if i did, well too bad :p. I better get out and finish the barn work this morning, i'll just have to wrap my feet with grocery bags so that my feet are not bathed in a substance i won't mention.

Farm work galore

2005-04-03T07:22:00.000-03:00

I would like to start of with a hope that the catholic church picks a new pope as forward and current as Pope John Paul II was. Even though i'm not catholic, nor ascribe to many of thier more conterversial beliefs, i can still respect a relgious man, whom dedicated his life to God.

Well i'm on the farm today, i offered to look after the farm and my little sister while the parentals went on a vacation down south. Well, its funny how when you are away from something, you forget all the long hours and the downsides to it. I am starting to realize that accepting to look after the farm was not my best idea, a week before finals, i will be spending 2 hours everyday just doing farm work. Definately not the best use of my study time, but i will just have to cut out the fun time i usually schedule so that i don't crack and snap.

For somereason i had no will to blog recently, and a couple good stories popped up, like my roomates exploding beer. Yup its exploding, he made a batch of homemade beer and when bottling he filled the bottles to full. He didn't leave enough room for the gas to go, so the gas is staying in the liquid, causing two problems. One, the beer is spontanteously exploding at night and if you move the beer anywhere, there will be one or two self-destructing withing 30 mins. The second is that, there is so much gas in the beer, that when he opens a bottle, the gas molecules expand and cause an effect much like when you pop a champange bottle after shaking it...only worse, there was a ring around the whole kitchen the last time he opened a bottle. I feel bad, since with the number of bottles exploding and fizzing, he is about back to the same price for the beer as if he had just went out and got a 12 pack.

Anyway i better get back to work on my last project of this sesmester, it is a plant project due monday at 6. My part is about rhizobia and their effects on plants. It is interesting even if it doesn't seem like the most exciting of topics :p

On time but late two hours.

2005-03-30T16:29:00.000-04:00

Sweet Lord! I got a story today...

Well today has been a rough one all round. I woke up tired and not feeling good, so i said what the hell i'll skip today, since i only have two classes in the morning since micro lab is done (except for the lab final...) so i merrily slept in, then played games from ten to 2, feeling guilty i decided i must start working or i'm gonna be in trouble come the finals. So with that in mind, i went downstairs turned on the television and cooked... potatoes, yes i did say potatoes, you know the ugly vegetable, i should have known something was up when i have a jones'ing for potatoes.

So with my plate full of mashed potatoes, i preceded to go up to my room and notice that the Boondock Saints had finished downloading. With a hum of delight, i sat down to watch. To those not in the know, Boondock Saints is about two irishmen in boston killing 'evil men'. Well the irish accent, and the first big fight (which is on St. Patties day in a irish pub) had me thinking about a beer. Then i realized i had two in the fridge, so with a hop in my step i went down grabbed a couple and headed back up to my room to finish the movie. During the movie, someone messaged me, and i ignored it with contempt, nothing was getting between me and the movie...

Well after the movie, with a bit of a buzz, i get up to check the message to see if someone messaged me... it was dani and the message was:

Dani says: "bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!"<---(for me skipping ;) )
Dani says: "hey you"
Dani says: "oh shit.. nevermind... I guess you have your lab exam huh?"
Dani says: "how's that going for ya?"
Dani says: "I guess I should study eh?"
Dani says: "I'll stop talking to myself now..."

My jaw dropped, i quickly looked at the time on the computer, it was 3:20, i have lab at 1:30, meaning that the micro lab exam already started! I had fucked up badly! I quickly called to see if she was joking, nope my lab exam was today, at 130, so with a backwards t-shirt, a white and a insideout black sock on, i tore out of the house and ran for all my worth to the lab. It must have been the run the four flights of stairs or some cosmic, but when i got to the top i was drunk, i started to stumble a bit. I rushed over to the door, and noticed that there was a sign on it. Apparently the lab instructor broke us up into 3 groups, one writing at 130, another at 230 and the final one at 330. Well God was smiling on my drunken ass as i franticly prayed my name would be on the third list.... it was! Somehow i showed up on time for the lab final after being late 2 hours.

With a smile of satifaction, i sat down to the realization that i hadn't studied for it yet (i had thought it was next week). But luckily i knew my material from actually doing the work, and i came out really good, though a couple of stumbles in the lab may have tipped off the instructor that i had been drinking.

This post's lifespan may be in seconds....

2005-03-28T15:35:00.000-04:00

Its amazing how quickly my mood will shift gears depending upon the day, it is now cloudy and overcast. My emotions have taken a similar shift. Having a blog is nice, especially since you have incentive to write since other people will read it, but then there is the downside is exactly the upside of blogs... everyone is privy to what you have on your mind. How i wish i could say what is the problem and have a quick solution to it, without people reading too much into it, i know how it is to be lonely while surrounded by people, but then then it is a different idea about being alone surrounded by people. Prehaps the subtle differences in those two statements can't be conveyed over the written word, and can only be empathized by the voice and facial expression. Yet another redirect, maybe its natural to place shadows within shadows to keep people away from the dark things that plague us. Like a maze, we place false problems in front of other people so that they will say "yes, i know what his problem is" and look no farther; so that no one moves the vines and looks behind the false wall..

My earlier post, was light and spoke of enjoyment, this one is heavy and hard. No it wasn't the weather that had changed my mood, it was boiling underneath, i chose to just dress it up, placing lace and smiles on the harsh edges to cover the sharp bits. I'm not sure i will leave this post up, it could travel and morph depending upon whom read it, i don't want that, its more of a exorsism, i need to get out the demons, and change views, maybe i will move to a new point of view and everything bothering me will not seem so critical. Or maybe it is, this is helping but isn't definitive, i think i'll call a friend and have a human ear to listen and help, the question is whether to call an old friend whom is judging or a new one whom may not be impartial.

Its funny, a friend is a friend, but each one has his or her's views. Some will smile knowingly and judge since they were jealous, others will frown and distort since they are hoping of other things, and still others will not show since, even if you were there for them, they won't stop focusing upon their lives.

The old friend is coming in, its funny how a mood can be conveyed with a tone and inflection.

You always wonder where he got his smile....

2005-03-28T12:13:00.000-04:00

My shoulder warms where the rays of sunlight streak in my window, and only catch the corner of my body, the music is loud enough that i can feel the concussion waves in my chest. The tree branches outside the window rhymically move, creating an effect of life and breathing, i could swear they are all alive and sentient. The wind sneaks in the open window and brushes my unshaven cheek, like a hand it caresses. I look into the sky, it is the kind of blue that never ends, the kind that swallows you, the kind that you daydream into.

I'm in the mood that i love, the mood were all the little things in life are not so little, each thing becomes distinct. When you marvel at the intricate web that runs through everything. I think i can best describe it as a pebble hiting the surface of a lake, and eventually everything is touched by the ripple. I feel free, everything will be okay, the stress of the end of the sesmester is gone, i have time for it all and then some. We have all walked past a man on the street, and he has a stupid carefree smile on his face, a look of satifaction, enjoyment, a taste of evenness, a vitality. Today he is me.

Easter weekend has started to come to a close, for some of us it has already closed. Its 12 so instead of doing work like i said i would, i am blogging, excuses galore, don't worry once i'm done blogging, the room is messy, so i have that to do instead of work too. I just finished a awesome movie, i'm adding it to my favorite movie list, Crazy/Beautiful. It sure hit the right spot this morning, exactly what i needed to relax before getting to work.

I can see the floor...

2005-03-24T10:25:00.000-04:00

Well, maybe its about time i took a walk down to the supermarket, upon trying to decide what to have for my early lunch i realized maybe i need more choice. As of right now i have 1/4 of a box of Corn dunks, 2 cans of sweet peas (to fight off scurvy), 2 cans of chicken, a can of tuna, 3 lbs of rice and a sidekick. Oh, and a container of peanut butter. An interesting side point is that dry cerel and peanut butter are considered non perishable due to the long shelve life, and the fact that they are eaten well before the expiry date..... Both the cerel and peanut butter expire in april :s. April 5th to be exact for the cerel.

I've decided to clean up, seeing how i tripped and fell when i got my foot caught in a pair of pants that some how got wrapped around the bed leg, it formed a weird lasso type trap. So i have my second load of clothes in the washer, and a pile of my whites that will be the next through :). I'm also finding notes to some of the projects that i was desperately looking for when i was trying to write them all.

Anyway back to cleaning/studying, whoo hoo, only 2 classes before the weekend. I'm gonna love the long weekend, even though the extended family is having a get together. Family get togethers pre or post-summer really suck, the just become small talk convosations that never lead to any real thoughts, and no one ever remembers. But in the summer they are awesome, we get together, each family bring a pound or two of mussels, a couple desserts and other side dishes. We all just sit and talk and laugh, overal the feeling is a jovial one, instead of a boring plodding feeling like this get together will have.

When did socks evolve...erm devolve...

2005-03-23T15:37:00.000-04:00

Well the burn blisters seem to be healing okay, i still have a large one on my palm, but i have high hopes of it getting much better in the next day. Or i hope it will, otherwise Kris will just scream and run back to sackville. I have finished all but 2 of the 10 projects i had due this week, and i have 5 days before the next one is due, i think i will take a breathing day, i just wish i had a reason to drink, who am i kidding i don't need a reason, just need the booze and someone to drink with ;).

Maybe i can store up my good mood and save it for saturday for Lindy's get together, and just get plastered, seeing how i haven't truely drank to my normal semi-passed out state in over 2 months, i can see this being a very cheap drunk weekend. Maybe there will even be a blood bank open saturday! Yup i remember the couple times i donated blood, then went out to drink, those were the nights, saving 3 lives and getting drunk off 2 beer, /sigh. See, it does pay to be a good samaritian :). You just need to know what good deeds pay off better then others ;). Wouldn't that be a messed up pub crawl? Having everyoen donate blood then walk down to a bar..... Hmmmmm maybe i will discard that into never think about again pile.

How does my roomie keep cleaning, i'm growing bored of constantly following him around and messing up his cleanliness. But i shall prevail, don't worry my friends, mess making is second nature to me. My room is looking like a disaster zone at the moment, but with finals less then a month away, knowing myself well, eventually i will use my room as an excuse to not study, and then it will get cleaned. Though, i just thought i saw a sock move.... i think that is a sock.....

The post took me 4 hours to write..

2005-03-22T04:07:00.000-04:00

If you noticed the post time already, yes indeed it is 4:05, sigh, i really wish as humans we had the option to oversleep one night and bank the hours so that they could be used other nights, to just not sleep. Well the reason i just got up, is that i have my last non-final test of the sesmester, and its in psyc. And with the load of projects that is sitting upon me, i haven't had the time to sit down and study and read the material. Actually, screw this, i'm gonna go back to sleep for another hour, the last time i dealt with little sleep i badly burnt my hand, i think for my own security i need more then 4 hours sleep. I'll finish this post in an hour.

Well i actually hit snooze from 5 til 7, :D i'm sure the roomies hate me now, if they didn't before. Now i'm a wake but have very little time to study, but luckily i only skipped one class between this test and last, and i always have a high retension factor for material. And psyc is far from the most challenging class that i have. Plus i'm awake and functioning, so that will probably help me better then being bone tired and studied up. Especially since i have a big report due tomorrow i need to finish today, and a second project who's rough draft is done, so i would dearly love to finish it up and get it off the list of things that i procrasinate(a rare variation of a normal person's to do list ;) ).

The sky looks cloudy with a hint of blue, its gonna be a good day, which means even if i don't get a 80+ in this test this morning, i'm still gonna be in a uber mood :). Only 2 days until Kris comes home for easter weekend, its surprising how excited i am to just see her. And its been less then 2 weeks since i last seen her.

Play with fire and you will be burned...

2005-03-20T14:50:00.000-04:00

Well, my slacking off has came to an end, and just in time to salvage the last day of the weekend. Apparently when i hide away from school work i also hide from posting, but who really noticed my daily posts missing? Anyway, today is my little sisters birthday, she just turned 13, which means she's a teenager now, i'm gonna have my work cut out for me now, trying to humiliate all the boys she brings home, but i'm up for the challenge! I split the cost of my present with my brother, since both of us are really tight on cash, we got her a pink fuzzy lamp for her new desk that the parentals gave her for her bday. Now i know some of you safety minded people are wondering, isn't it a fire hazard to have flamable fuzzy hairs covering a appliance whos function is to produce light ineffectiently, and hence uses more energy producing heat? Yup it is but meh, she'll love it, so safety took the back seat ;).

Talking about fire, i did something incredibly stupid in the micro lab yesterday. First my excuses: I was running on 5 hours sleep and was frustrated and careless. Now with that disclaimer done, there is oil lamps which we use for sterilizing our innoculating loops when the faculty turn off the propane during the weekends. And since there was only 3 oil lamps with oil still present and 5 groups looking to use them, we got the bright idea of maybe filling an empty lamp with the disinfecting alcohol that we use on the desks, since it is 95% alcohol....

Well in my brillance (remember i mentioned in an earlier post, i come up with horrific ideas when tired), i put a couple drops on the table and proceeded to run a match above them, assuming that if the match got brighter then the fumes and therefore the solution was flamable. Well the fumes are flamable and they caught on fire, and that was no biggy, just a little puff of flame. But then that puff set the drops on fire. Soooooo, here was little old me sitting at a table in the middle of the micro lab, with the table on fire. Using the same brillant judgement skills i used to put the alchohol on the table, i rationized what to do to put it out, i put my hand over it to smother the flame. And so i sit today with beautiful sore blisters all over my hand and half the hair on the back of it burnt away. Guess this just goes into the example box of dumb things that brad has done, and regrets.

I remember....

2005-03-17T06:08:00.000-04:00

Wow, note my surprise that i wasn't the first to post on today, bean beat me by a good 4 hours! And with an awesome post, which has me thinking about my family too. I have a little brother and sister. I can still remember the days we would walk up and down the lane and play knights, a game where we would imagine ourselves in medevil times and somehow he always became the squire. Poor guy. I remember playing spy, where we would skip out on farm work, and run around and sneak up on dad and the farm hands, and they would pretend not to hear our giggling. I remember the teen years, where we drank and smoked up together, I remember when he started experimenting with LSD and mushrooms. I remember carrying him on my shoulders; his body limp, while he complained he wanted more drugs; out of a apartment with no furniture in it, from a bed stained with puke; some of it his; when his drug buddies could no longer wake him up for his hit. And i remember the last day he called these people friends.

My little sister's story has faired better, and our relationship is different. Being 10 years older then her, i've always felt a protective instinct. I remember laughing when she told me she was gonna marry Allen, when she was 4. I remember building blanket forts and then pretending to be a monster, and trying to capture her, while tearing them down. I remember many talks, where we would stay up late and she would ask questions and i'd do my best to answer the endless interrogation. I remember trying my best to listen to the latest gossip about friends of hers, that i never remember.

Maybe i should stop focusing on what i have left to do this month for school, and take a day and see the little brother and sister. I still have the sister over every now and then for movie nights. But i haven't had a beer with the little brother in over a year, we haven't gone out to play pool, nor just hung out and laughed while making fun of other people. It is funny how much your siblings made you who you are today, and will color whom you will be tomorrow.

Skipping merrily along....

2005-03-16T06:23:00.000-04:00

Well its just after 6, i managed to delete my post to beans blog, whoops, just goes to show how grogy i am at the moment. I'm up at 6 again on a wednesday, due to the fact that our ecology prof, is harping about the next surprise test is coming soon. Apparently she is heartless. I'm dam sick of studying, or atleast being forced to study, i don't mind reading lightly to get ready for finals, but this studying daily is killing my motivation.

I got my genetics mark back yesterday! I have not been so embarrassed about a mark in a long long time, i knew the material, and it doesn't reflect what i know. I will have to talk to the prof about it, in the very least i want to know what the hell i did wrong. Maybe i just studied the wrong topics? I wouldn't think so, i went over the things he empathized in class, but who knows where i went wrong. I wrote my micro midterm yesterday, and am honestly very optimistic, and i'm hoping for atleast a 80, it may seem like a mediocre mark, but with the class average sitting at 52 %, and thats after the harpy, erm i mean prof, added a bonus 7 marks to all our tests to bring up the marks!

Anyway i better start studying for ecology, otherwise i got up at 6 for no real reason besides to write a blog post and to mess up bean's comment system :p. I do try! I intend to stop skipping no matter what, i have been on a skipping spree. I have already skipped 2 classes this week and i'm only on the third day! If there is anything that oculd have contributed to my genetics mark, its the skipping. Though i studied long enough to make it up, but alas, no luck. Back to studying.

Destined to become a surgeon?

2005-03-15T07:31:00.000-04:00

I found two sweet websites, for anyone who is dreaming of med school, or whom is just curious what specially they would fit best in.

From the University of Virginia: http://www.med-ed.virginia.edu/specialties/

From which i got the three top three suggestions:
i)Plastic Surgery
ii)Plastic Surgery
ii)Thoracic Surgery

Yes i did indeed get plastic surgery twice in a row, hmmmm are they thing to talk me into something?

From the University of Buffulo: http://www.smbs.buffalo.edu/RESIDENT/CareerCounseling/interior.htm?self-assessment.htm

From which i got the top three suggestions:
i)Thoracic Surgery
ii) Neurological Surgery
iii)Anesthesiology
iv) Plastic Surgery

I included the forth so that you can see i got plastic surgery in both :s, not my best pick i don't think, but Thoracic surgery would be fun as hell :).

Ugh back to eating my usual fare.... i can smell rice cooking through out the apartment... back to rice and ketchup sob!

I survived the night....

2005-03-15T06:06:00.000-04:00

Well, i'm back on the island, after an amazingly fun weekend with Kris in sackville. Yes i did indeed say fun and sackville in the same sentence, and no it wasn't a hallucination. The drive back yesterday morning at 6 am wasn't fun, the roads looked good, but going around a corner, the back end of the truck fish tailed heavily and i found myself sliding around a corner sideways, thank God it was at 6 am and there was no other cars on the road.

I had to sleep with a window open and with my covers off last night. Kris doesn't really heat her apartment, there are only two heated rooms, and i don't know if you would use the word "heated". One is her room, which she keeps at roughly 15 degrees, but it drops in temperature throughout the night. Well, she has gotten me used to that temperature, so my nicely heated apartment is too hot to sleep in now. The only problem is that when i sleep at her place, i have someone beside me to keep me warm in the darkest part of the night.... no such thing here, and hence i woke up at 3 am. It was so cold, my lungs hurt, and i could see my breathe fogging in the air above my face when i woke. Anyway i survived the night....barely!

Anyway, time to finish up this post, i have my last midterm today, Microbiology. Not fun at all, but i love the material, the only problem being is the prof is a terrible marker. He only takes certain phrases, on the last midterm someone wrote "Gram-negative bacteria have no polypeptide interbridges" and got it wrong, since the answer was "Polypeptide interbridges have no role in gram-negative bacteria". Now one would assume if there was no interbridges, that you would assume that they would have no role, but apparently that was too much of a leap. Poor guy. I need to get in a bunch of studying, i'm hoping to out do my last midterm of 81%, we shall see, the key to his tests are to study old tests, and find the wording he accepts. Spring is less then a week away.

A blog for blog's sake...

2005-03-12T16:05:00.000-04:00

Well, i made it to sackville thursday in very good time and with less then a quarter of a tank used, apparently the old man's v8 chevy isn't bad on gas as long as you don't speed too much. I'm enjoying my time here, and i'm surprisingly getting alot of work done, or well not really, i'm slacking off trying to distract Kris, but alas, she is studious... or i'm just one poor distracter...sob!

Really this is just a blog for blogs sake, i honestly don't have much to write about, besides not feeling hot, which is due to having wendy's too much this weekend, the dreary weather outside, and just being plain tired. I am fighting to stay awake long enough to study for micro, which is the next midterm popping up, on tuesday. Not the best timing, seeing how i am visiting Kris the weekend before it, but with the help of friends whom sent me the details on what i missed in my skipped classes friday, i seem to be well prepared. Every bit of studying now seems like overkill, and hence its really hard to pay attention and not slack. But i have finished my Ecology paper, and am gonna start the Microbiology Virus paper once this is posted.

Well stay tuned, for next time when brad posts about such interesting things as... his micro paper, whether we rent the Notebook or watch sex and the city and whether Kris gets sick of him and chokes him in his sleep.....

Guess i'm a freak....

2005-03-09T13:00:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm, i figured i would be maybe on par with lindy. Boy i didn't expect to rank so high :s
Guess the cat is out of the bag..... maybe i should stop studying and work on the life aspect :P

Incoherent ramblings

2005-03-09T10:48:00.000-04:00

Well i just finished the genetics midterm. I left the room with a distinct feeling of accomplishment, but as soon as the door shut so did my mind. While talking to the rest of the guys about the test, i couldn't remember one question, nor how i answered them. I wonder if i just go into auto mode when writing a test, i don't think i just do the problem and write down the answer, or am i protecting myself from hearing that i did it wrong, hmmmmm.

I woke up today to the sound of a plastic bag hackling at me, or it could be the sound of the plastic bag whipping in the wind. The bag is easily 15 feet from my window but i would swear it was in my room. I was actually at the back door, with my coat on and shoes in hand before i realized my plan of climbing a seedy looking spruce tree in 90 km gusts was not the best one.

And it brings up a interesting idea, are you more impaired due to lack of sleep then excess alcohol? When drinking, you are well aware that the ideas you are coming up with are moronic, and to a point you ignore most of them as farfetched ideas that no one should do, but with lack of sleep i can make and have often made horrific ideas and tried to carry them out. The only problem is that you assume you are in the right state of mind to be coherent therefore the idea or judgement could not be flawed or distorted. Which may not be true.

I just saw a second grocery bag fly by my window, i think they are multiplying.... if i do not post in the next couple of days, come looking for me, i may have been taken hostage, or worse.

Its a spruce, i think i can get up there...

2005-03-08T10:16:00.000-04:00

Well, its my turn to buy toilet paper for the apartment. Gah, and me with no money, will i have to resort to borrowing money to buy toilet paper? This question was quickly answered late last night, when on my way out of a lab i noticed a box of toilet paper...... "Shall i get the most of out of my tuition and take some?". Well apparently when it comes to the fact that i really really didn't want to borrow money to buy toilet paper; my morals just couldn't compete. So with a box of 48 rolls of toilet paper in my arms, i walked out of the building, home, and finally to victory. Who would have figured victory could smell so sweet, especially when talking about toilet paper.

I have a pic or two of the box and me, just so that the story may be preserved and retold on drunk nights when we have nothing to do but take out old pictures and laugh. Sometimes those are the best nights anyway, no five dollar beers, no frostbite while traveling from bar to bar, no cover charge, no crazy taxi drivers with a deathwish, no puking... Well actually the story nights hold more puking, literally and also many many stories of whom puked where and who slept in what... or with what.

Maybe its the steel grey sky, or the rhythmic swaying of the trees in 70+ gusts. Or that really annoying plastic grocery bag caught in the tree outside the window, but i have no motivation. I wonder if i can get up that tree and get that bag, i've been watching it inflate and deflate for days. I think it is inducing the same feelings as the chinese water torture must have created in the vietnam veterns. Anyway enough procrasination, time to study for the genetics midterm tomorrow, if i can stop watching that bag blow in the wind with sick fasination....Sigh!

Blue Skys

2005-03-07T06:08:00.000-04:00

Well, its 6 in the morning, and dreary as hell outside. Its amazing how much i must depend on the weather when i wake up to set myself on a good mood. Anyway, i'm up this early to study for a surprise ecology test that the prof has been saying "...will be very very soon" for the last 2 weeks, i'm so sick of studying every monday, wednesday and friday morning at 6, only to be disappointed by no test. But if we get it today or wednesday, i am sooooooo skipping friday, and i think many others are too. It would serve her right to have an empty class if she will constantly hold this over us to get attendance.

I have been staring at this one crow outside my window on a tree branch for the last 10 minutes, i don't believe in signs but i am starting to get nervous. I am also wondering what is intelligence? I look into its shiny eyes, i see a cold intellect there, or am i just imagining things? I guess to survive as a scavenger on the island in the middle of the winter requires some added brains, but Edgar Allan Poe's Raven poem sharply comes to mind as i watch this crow watch me, he seems to be at least equally as interested in me as i am in him....

Its amazing, its 6 in the morning and i can sit in my room and read from the genetics book on my desk, i smell summer. I say this as the trees i can see are dusted with snow, but i'm an optimist. The night clouds seem to be dispersing and i see a hint of blue in the sky, maybe today will not be such a bad day.

Smelly apartment, Tired body, Lonely mind.

2005-03-06T11:12:00.000-04:00

Well last night was a flop, i couldn't afford to go out to the bars, so instead of going to the bars i just had a couple of glasses of water and went to sleep around 1 or so, only to be woken up at 2:30 by the roommates....whom both had their keys but couldn't work the lock! The impressiveness of that comment just shows how drunk one can get. They showed up with 2 girls, more interested in the drinks they had here then in the roomates themselves, and one of which we all went to school with; whom hugged me repeatily. I honestly think she just forgot she hugged me each time.

So once i let the roomies back in i climbed back into my bed in the hopes of falling back asleep so i would be well rested for studying for my genetics midterm. Alas, it was not to be, with the bass pumped, the roomates proceeded to make a dance party. It didn't quite work, seeing how none of them could stand particularly well....you get the picture. So i got up, got some more water, since by this time i was hungover from my earlier drinking, and started watching the Shawshank redemption. A good all round movie, i advise anyone to see it. So i finished that at 5:00am and finally off to dream land; guessing at some point during the movie they all passed out or maybe even knocked each other unconcious during the dancing...

So that takes me up to present, 5 hours of sleep later, a apartment that smells like a distillery so badly, i have to keep the door closed. A tired body with no motivation, a lonely mind with no focus, and only 5 days before i get off this island to see the girlfriend.

Very evil....and hot

2005-03-05T21:59:00.000-04:00

Well its saturday night, a friend from out of town dropped in to have a good old drinking night, so who am i to fight it? I may have only $2.97 to my name, besides my rent for next month, but no that won't stop me from drinking. The guys are going to feed me beers so i can drink to, apparently i did the same for them when they were hard on cash, so now its my turn.

There is something to be said, by having the second post of your personal blog being a drunk one. I guess with me at the head of this operation, you have to expect that :D.

Apparently we decided a late night trip to brookvale, the local ski park, is a good idea. We are gonna make a trip to the zellars store and buy multiple crazy carpets and slide down the brookvale hill. 30 + beer, 2 pints of rum, 4 crazy carpets and a ski hill.......... and you have the best (best ~= dumbest) drunken idea. And yours truly is supposed to be the driver, but i'm giddy drunk off 3 beer and 2 shots of rum. And being tormented terribly by his evil girlfriend... feelings should not be expressed. Guys feelings = evil things!

And then there was one...

2005-03-05T15:01:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been thinking of starting a blog, seeing how so many of my friends here on the island seem to be enjoying the experience, its about time to try myself. I'm hoping this acts as a cleansing daily ritual for me, helping me to focus and direct myself.

To give a quick summary of where I came from, where I am, and finally where I am going. I am 22 years old, I have a diploma in Webdesign and ECommerence from Compu College, a local community college, I come from a farm background, at which I work during the summer months to give me money to continue my education. I am currently living a stone's throw from UPEI (University of Prince Edward Island), the school at which I am a second year student, working my way through a bachelor of science. My marks are getting better(~85%, coming from a 71% average last sesmester), I seem to have found some focus but not the focus I desperately need to get into med school. And finally where I am going. I am aspiring for med school, but not all dreams are fulfilled.

And so ends the first post, not a terribly interesting one, but a start. I want to slowly wade into the blogging pool, not jump in and drown, only to swim back out never to be seen from again....